Ever had someone try to bully you??? I have....
I was in fifth grade. I had no idea that this guy even existed before. He was this huge, tall, football playing looking guy who hung with the wrong crowd and I could have sworn he was like... 16 still chilling in the 5th grade. Anyway, this guy told one of my friends that he had a crush on me and that he wanted to be my boyfriend. So I told her to point him out to me. She did and...I didn't like him. I was excited at first of the thought of a having a secret crush because I was thinking "ooooh....a boy!!" But this was not the kind of crush I was expecting. I was this lanky little 50lb beanpole of a girl who wore thick, coke bottle glasses and went to piano lessons every Monday. I was a Junior Girl scout who tested top 5 in the class for RESA Math and who sang in the church choir every Sunday. I really wasn't into boys yet. I was too busy dealing with so many other problems that came along with being a 5th grader... like trying to be cool.
Anyway, she told the guy that I wasn't interested and he got really mad. He told her that he was going to beat me up. Then he told everybody else in 5th grade that he was going to beat me up. I was mortified!
I got so scared. In my mind I was like "why?" My rejection wasn't a mean one. I was afraid of the guy so there was no way I was going to "diss" him and make him look bad in front of everybody...I thought if I did that...then he really would beat me up. I wondered how a three person conversation turned into a "entire student body of 5th grade conversation," but either way, it didn't matter now. He was mad and eventually going to beat me up. I had no clue what to do. All my friends laughed hysterically at me. I panicked everyday I went to school because I didn't know when and where the "beat down" would take place.
The guy never beat me up...by the time he had decided when and where the war would proceed. I was already at the principal's office TELLING! Yes....I told on him. (hahaha...laugh if you want) I did not fight! Are you kidding me???!!! There was no way I was going to walk onto a battlefield with a guy whom I didn't even know existed until this very incident. Plus, I didn't even know why I was fighting. Ah...errrrr???? :-/
I was not the type to get down and dirty and scrap and punch and exert all that force onto another person....please! Who was I going to hurt...the fly on the wall that was watching and laughing just like everybody else? That Goliath was NOT going to smash my little brain into pieces over an ego trip. I'm glad I did tattle on him because as soon as he got into trouble...he left me alone and went on to intimidate his next victim.
It's a lot like that in real life sometimes. When people reject you and hurt you. You wanna fight them and hurt them. When you reject others, sometimes they are going to get angry with you. I'm quite sure the guy really didn't mean any harm...he was just hurt. And because I knew he was hurt, I didn't allow the situation to escalate into something physical. It was not my battle to fight.
Rejection teaches you a lot about yourself. It builds strength. It builds character. It is a mirror that is held up to our faces that reflects what we don't necessarily see otherwise.
We should all thank rejection. I know I do. It makes me work that much harder. This music business is vicious and you have to have tough skin in order to survive. All the rejection I've received has helped to callous my skin. Now, I’m teflon! But when I was rejected, there was no need to fight those who rejected me. There was no need to lie on them and slander their names all over America…no need to try and get revenge. Of course there's a natural urge to want to do some of those things...but I didn't. I kept it moving, looked deeper than what was on the surface and I took the lesson out of the pain. I didn’t see the purpose of pointing the finger at someone who had free will to either "do" or "don't." That made no sense. I looked within me, worked on myself, perfected my craft and daily I turn that rejection into triumph. I am a better person for it.
So don't hate on rejection...use it to your advantage. For every 1,000 doors that are closed in your face...there is 1 just for you. Don't stop...even when you've reached door number 999. All of those other doors may not have lead to the rooms you needed to be in but that 1,000th door you open just may be the perfect door for you.
KEEP PUSHING PEOPLE! :-)
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