Back to the Basics

Hi Guys,
I'm still in the mix trying to hold it all together. I have a full load that includes three different vocal classes this semester. All the while, I'm still rehearsing, gigging, and working on my project P.S.A. due to be released in June 2010.*fingers crossed*

I've never been vocally trained. So I would say that I've relied on natural, raw talent to get me by in the past. But that doesn't fly in class. I have professors who can all seem to spot my vocal weaknesses within seconds. And because I cant see what they see, I get frustrated.

They all seem to be trying to push me (which I totally understand and greatly appreciate.) But there is this one professor who really pushes. I mean he PUSHES ME. It seems like he is always riding me. "J," (he calls me J) "your breathing is too shallow! Drop your jaw! Diction! Tonality!" And it drives me nuts most of the time. I look around class thinking, "Am I the only one who is messing up because this person right beside me is clearly not on the right note and I am. Why is he picking on me?" I'm almost ashamed to say, but I teared up last class. Usually, I just brush it off, but for some reason, this time, I kind of broke down. I didn't understand why I wasn't getting it. I sing so well outside of class, but in class I suck! Everything was new to me. I wanted to "flex" or "squall" as the singers would say. But what he was asking took control, discipline, and PATIENCE.

After talking it out with some friends, I realized that I have to throw everything that I thought I knew about singing out of the window. I HAVE to do this in order to receive and be able to apply the new techniques that are being given to me. I know that in the long run, it will help me tremendously. So I have to stick with it: Start from scratch and re-learn everything.

And today it hit me. Life is a lot like this. Sometimes we get complacent, stagnant, and so used to things being a certain way that we are opposed to any change of circumstances or anything new in our lives regardless of whether it will benefit us or not. I think my opposition came from fear. The fear that my voice would change or that I would lose something valuable. But I realized that by allowing myself to give in to what was being taught, I was actually gaining something a lot more valuable.

If we only allow ourselves to open up, act in humilty and let go of what we think we know, we can begin to learn more and receive bigger and better things in our lives. Sometimes we have to be stripped of what we already have in order to make room for what we are about to receive. But we can only receive it if we let go of the old in order to make room for the new.

If at first you dont succeed...

Ever tried to get something you wanted and no matter what you did...nothing ever worked out?? And you just knew that you would die if you could not get that promotion or make that team, or book that gig and book that audition! Only later to find out that you didn't get what you thought you wanted for a reason!

There's always a reason.

Sometimes the reason is that we didn't really want it, or that it wasn't the best fit for our lives, or that we weren't ready to handle what comes along with it, or that we were predestined to be in another place doing something else at that time, or maybe it was somebody else's turn to have it before us hence the saying, "A delay is not a denial."

It could have been a number of things. As we look back at the journey of our lives, only each one of us knows why certain things happened. Of course we didn't know right away. "Time" took its precious "time" revealing what we so desperately wanted to know immediately after we failed...the question of Why?

It's okay to focus on the why's...but we should also focus on the how's. I like to call it "strategy mode." Okay, I didn't get that audition or book that gig. How do I book this one or the next one or the next one after that? How can I improve so that next time the outcome will be different? How can I use this disappointment as a teacher so that next time I will know "what to do" or "what not to do?" How can I take from this experience in order to gain knowledge that will prepare me for success in the future?

Failure is a part of life. It's bound to happened one time or another. The secret is all in how we deal with it. And we all cope differently...

Even Michael Jordon, the greatest player to ever play the game of basketball in the NBA league, was cut from a team once. Tyler Perry, who never finished high school, spoke of being molested and abused as a child, and who was once homeless, now owns a multi-million dollar movie production empire. Donald Trump went bankrupt three times before he gained his real estate fortune. Sean "P Diddy" Combs was fired from Uptown Records before he went on to start his own entertainment company and now owns a clothing company. His net worth is over 300 million dollars. John Paul Dejoria was fired from every job he ever had, he was also homeless once and collected cans in order to afford to eat from McDonald's 99 cent menu everyday. He now owns the million dollar system of John Paul Mitchell Hair Products. He is also the guy who is responsible for importing and introducing us to a very fine tequila we all know and love so dearly...Patron.

Should I go on....there are plenty more...do your homework...the proof is in the pudding. No great tragedy ever happens to those who aren't destined to be GREAT!

So take those failures and become better, grow, and keep trying until you get where you want to be.

Keep Trying!

Comments: PSAcomments@gmail.com

Brandy:Truthfully Cover

Youtube time...check it out!!

John Mayer: Really A Racist.....or.....Just A D--n Good Musician????

This past Saturday, I ventured out to downtown Washington DC. The streets were crowed with thousands of teenyboppers dressed in short skirts, leggings, and 3 inch stiletto boots holding signs that read "We love you John Mayer!" Those same streets were also crowded with "baby boomers" draped in thick scarfs and pea coats as they tried to make their way into the 20,000 seated capacity Verizon Center along with the overly zealous teens. All ages...young and old in the freezing cold to see John Mayer in Concert: Battle Studies.

As I made my way into the arena, I scoped the scene for any African-Americans that I could find. There were few. I had already purchased my ticket to see him in November of 2009, and I'm guessing a lot of others had done so as well. But I wondered how many African-Americans had changed their minds or refused to attend due to his recent remarks in a Playboy Magazine Interview regarding his feelings towards African-American women.

"I don't think I open myself to it," Mayer said of dating black women. "My d--- is sort of like a white supremacist. I've got a Benetton heart and a f-----' David Duke c---. I'm going to start dating separately from my d---."

"Someone asked me the other day, 'What does it feel like now to have a 'hood pass?' " he told Playboy. "And by the way, it's sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a 'hood pass, you could call it a n---a pass. Why are you pulling a punch and calling it a 'hood pass if you really have a 'hood pass? But I said, 'I can't really have a 'hood pass.' I've never walked into a restaurant, asked for a table and been told, 'We're full.' "

As I read his quotes, none of it really offended me. In my mind, I thought, "What's the big deal?" Until....I researched David Duke. Oh how bliss ignorance can be!!!
For those of you who don't know, David Duke is probably America's most famous unapologetic racist and anti-Semite. "Our clear goal," he has said, "must be the advancement of the white race and separation of the white and black races. This goal must include freeing of the American media and government from subservient Jewish interests." He opposes integration, calls himself a "white nationalist", and his political perspectives are colored almost entirely by race. He was elected Grand Wizard of the Klu Klux Klan (KKK) from 1974-1978. http://www.nndb.com/people/210/000024138/

I have to admit I was shocked as I read, but somewhere deep inside me, I still couldn't bring myself to be offended. I think the David Duke dude is hilarious. Who would ever take someone with that much hate for people seriously? I laugh at stupidity. *kanye shrug* I didn't really care.

As the show started, I analyzed. I was waiting to find some sort of flaw or sign of racism so that I could back my African-American brothers and sisters and join them in their anger. The music was so emotional. The blues...with it's early 19th century African-American origin. The blues...derived from slaves in the deep south who sang spirituals and "field hollers" as they worked. And today, this "white boy" from Connecticut who claims to not be attracted to African-American women is on a stage getting paid and performing for thousands of screaming, adoring "Caucasian" fans the very music created by those who he claims to not be attracted.

Ok, now I get it...I think.:-/ And I waited...waited...and waited for the insult to set it. It never found me. So I gave up. As I watched and listened to this "white boy" perform, I became engulfed. I lost myself. And all I did was feel. That is what his music did to me. And that is what the blues is all about...a feeling. An escape from all the sadness and pain in the form of a functional musical expression. Anybody can have the blues. And all of a sudden race was not an issue. This "white boy" sure did know what he was doing. And I was in love...with the blues!

Mr. Mayer closed the show after returning for an encore while playing a guitar solo. I watched as his hands fingered the instrument...how they glided up and down it as if it were a woman's body. He explored the instrument like a man would explore a lady's body parts during a very intimate, very erotic sexual encounter. As I realized that I was beginning to become slightly turned on I changed positions in my chair. Awkwardness came to me...I looked around as if to check to see if anyone else had figured out my thoughts. Everyone else was just as entranced as I was. I was safe to let go. He laid the instrument on the stage as he bended down on his knees. It had his undivided attention and he begin to pluck it, string it, and play it. I felt like I was watching something I wasn't supposed to be watching. When he was done...I was in awe. I wanted more. Then a big light bulb went off in my head.

Now I see why so many African-American women were pissed off. After watching how he plays his instrument, I could see why women would look at him sexually. As he performs, he oozes it. It seeps from his pores. They probably had thoughts of wanting to have sex with this man. And when he stated that he wasn't attracted to black women. He crushed their dreams. I had figured it out!! This was a simple matter of hurt feelings and rejection.

Attention! Attention! Ladies and gentleman please realize that there are many people in this world from all walks of life. Everybody will not like you or be attracted to you. Point blank! Period. If John Mayer is not attracted to African-American women, then that is his preference. And we all have them. At least he was consistent. He equally offended gays, African-American women, and Jews. The man's father is Jewish. Come on people! It clearly was a joke. The man is human and has his likes and dislikes. And so do you. I know plenty of African American women whose vaginas are "Black Panthers from the early Malcolm X Civil Rights Era" and will never ever allow entry from a "Blue Eyed White Devil" penis. Now is that racist??? The only difference is they don't live their lives in front of millions to be condemned because of it.

Bottom Line: Stop judging people. We all have different tastes. Some people like fat, skinny, brunette, blonde, light skinned, dark skinned, tall, short, White, Black, Latino, Asian, Palestinian, Bangladesh, whatever, whatever, whatever! Get over it! I don't think John Mayer is a racist though I do not condone his use of the N---a word. That is the biggest no-no. But as I look at the context of what was said, I honestly don't think he meant any harm. I think he just told some really bad, really corny, really lame jokes. In his attempt to try to seem cool, he bombed...really badly.

His band was made up of predominately African-American musicians. Two African American female background singers, the drummer was black, keyboardist was black, guy on 2nd guitar was black. It would be kind of hard to work with that many African-Americans, be a racist and no one figure it out until you make a statement in Playboy. If he were a racist, I'm quite sure the world would have been found out long before now. He just isn't attracted to black women and that is all there is to it. I don't care and I'm a black women. So I don't really see why anybody else cares. He gets the job done. He delivers. My consensus is...he is a DAMN GOOD MUSICIAN! He preserves a music genre created by African Americans that many African Americans don't even play anymore. I say: Keep Rockin' Mayer!


Care to comment: Please do or email your thoughts, ideas, suggestions to PSAcomments@gmail.com

I took some pics and posted a video...hope you enjoy because I sure did!! :-)

Re: Ultimate Ultimatum

Hi guys,
I often get a lot of feedback on my blogs. And I got some responses that I want to re-post. They were sent from two males: one who is not a musician and in a relationship and one who is a musician and married.
Feel free to comment or email me at PSAcomments@gmail.com...

RESPONSE 1:
I admit...

I can’t comment on what it’s like to be in a relationship with a musician…but I can comment on what it’s like to be in a relationship with an active person period.

I’ve learned that it takes a VERY special person who is willing to give up A LOT to be involved with a person who is very active. Generally, I am the type of person who places the things that I enjoy in life ahead of anything else b/c they are what makes me, me. So anyone involved with me either has to take it or leave it at the door…..

So while you are saying that NON-MUSICIANS are the ones giving their MUSICIAN significant other the ULTIMATE ULTIMATUM…that is not REALLY the ULTIMATE ULTIMATUM….the TRUE ULTIMATE ULTIMATUM is YOU as the MUSICIAN giving the NON-MUSICIAN the ULTIMATUM to put up with your late nights, hectic and last minute schedules to live your dream. That is the ULTIMATE ULTIMATUM…and ask me how I know so….because the person who is with me understands that my extracurricular activities are vital to the essence of me, and in order for me to be me so that I can be the person that they love I have to stay involved…
Anonymous



RESPONSE 2:
I for one know how hard it is for your mate to understand why artists love their craft so much. When I moved to Atlanta, I was fresh out of college with a newborn little girl and I was beginning my retail management career. I knew I loved producing/writing, but I also knew I needed a backup plan if it didn't work so I enrolled in grad school. I spent very little time with my family because the routine was work, studio sessions, and school. I soon realized that being active doesn't mix well with family, so I backed out of music and school.

Now that I'm married, I realized that I just can't leave music alone. I feel like Pookie, "it just keeps calling me," LOL. So, I sat my wife down to explain to her that I can't leave music alone whether I am successful with it or not. She fully supports me as long as I don't neglect the family. So I say, it takes a strong person to deal with an active person, and it takes an even stronger active person to maintain a healthy relationship.
Anonymous

Feel free to comment or email me at PSAcomments@gmail.com

Ultimate Ultimatum

I'm married to music.

I say it all the time. As a matter of fact, I hear it all the time too. Musicians sit and talk about how hard it is to balance a relationship and chase a music career at the same time.

If you are putting the amount of time and energy you need to put into getting where you want to be, it's almost impossible unless your significant other is either extremely understanding or they are in the music business too. The main complaints are: I never get to see you, we don't spend enough time together, you are always at the studio, you always have a gig, why can't you stay home tonight?, you come home too late, I think you are cheating on me, you put your music before me.

And the truth is most musicians do and always will put music before anything else in his or her life. I can’t speak for all of them, but for the most part, this is pretty much true. I don't think it's an intentional thing...and I am speaking for myself when I say this. I honestly cannot help it. My career is my focus. It is number one in my life behind God and my family. Everything else falls in line after it. I will drop any and everything if it pertains to anything dealing with the advancement of my career.

I've had relationships fall apart because I wasn't willing to sacrifice the time away from my music to make it work. So instead of dragging them along and promising them that I would change, I just ended it. I knew I wasn't going to change. No need to lie or string anybody along. I wasn't cheating. Music is just my first love. And it always will be. I've yet to learn how to balance a blossoming relationship and still maintain a strong focus on my career. For some reason I can't do both.

I've had some of my musician friends talk about failed relationships with me and I've had similar situations myself. A lot of non-musicians who are in relationships with musicians expect to be put first in the relationship. A couple of friends have even had their significant others give them ultimatums. NOT GOOD!

To any non-musician dating or in a relationship with a musician: Please try not to give your loved one an ultimatum. If you know that music is his or her passion, why would you want to take that away? Why would you ask them to give up something that makes them happy? You will never be able to fill that void. My suggestion is to try to work with them: Try to understand. I know it's hard. And unless you are in the music business grinding it out every day and night you probably won’t be able to fathom the obsession. Most don't get what the big deal is...and probably never will. But I will say this... if you give an ultimatum and you ask your significant other to choose between you or the music, 9 times out of 10 you will be disappointed. And if he or she does choose you, resentment will set in, and the relationship will eventually fail. Now there are exceptions to this rule. But for the most part, this is a general rule of thumb...just my opinion.

But today's lesson is: NO ULTIMATUM!

I think the saying goes: “When you love someone, you’d give up anything for them. If they loved you back they’d never ask you to!”

When Life hands you lemons...

Hey guys,
Long time...I miss you all. But this has been the most hectic month ever and we're only five days into it.

Firstly, I'm now enrolled in school at the University of the District of Columbia pursing a degree in Music with a concentration in Voice Performance and a Minor in keyboard. Secondly, I'm still working on P.S.A.. The project is coming along well. And I am really excited about the turn it's taking...I think we have some really good material and I can't wait for you to hear it. I've been so busy, I can hardly think straight.

On the surface, it may look like I have it all together but trust me, you guys have no idea what I've been through the last couple of weeks. DC has had the most snow days this winter since I've been here and the day it started to snow again my precious car was towed. For what? Yep...you guessed it...unpaid parking tickets. So I don't pay my parking tickets...who does?...shoot me! :-) They decided to take the car on the weekend when all of the offices were closed. I couldn't really get upset...I knew this was coming. I just didn't know when and this was all my fault. I just had to stay calm and wait until the following Monday to get the car. :-(

So Monday morning, I wake up bright and early to go get my baby out of the impound. I kept calling but for some reason I couldn't get a cab. It took me 4 hours to finally realize that no one was coming so I walked down the block to catch the bus. When I finally got to the DMV, paid the tickets, and retrieved my car, I was relieved. It literally took all day. But the day went a little more smoothly than I had planned so I had no complaints. I was just glad to have my car back.

I'm driving along highway 295 singing along to Drake and Timberland's "Say Something" on the 93.9fm radio station when I hear this big pop and all of a sudden my car starts to pull towards the right...almost like my alignment was off or something. So I pulled over and discovered that I had a flat tire. In my mind I'm thinking...I'm going to miss my class. I immediately call roadside assistance and guess what happened next? My cell phone was dead. By then, I began to panic. I was stuck on the side of the road with a spare and no jack and a cell with a dead battery. And just when I started to give up, this random guy pulled up beside me. Thank God he had a cell charger and he allowed me to borrow it so that I could complete my roadside assistance call.

And as he pulled off I listened to the roadside assistant representative tell me that she was having trouble contacting a driver in my area. I WAS STUCK. By now I'm thinking, I'm never going to make it to class. She told me she would keep trying and right as I got off the phone with her, a DC truck pulled behind me with these big flashing headlights. As I looked in my rearview mirror...I felt like I saw the lights of God. LOL! I was so relieved. The guy changed my tired for me and I was off to class. The day had been saved and all was well again. Until...

I get about a block away from my place and as I'm slowing down to make a turn, I all of a sudden hear tires screeching and I hear this loud crash. I feel this big force that jerked my car forward. At first I'm a bit delusional...In my mind I am thinking somebody had a wreck. Then seconds later, I realize that somebody was me. So as I'm getting out of the car this lady walks up to me and asks me if I'm okay. I tell her yes. When my mind finally comes back to planet earth...I see that I was involved in a three car accident and I was hit from behind. I was fine, Thank God. Everybody involved was fine. No broken bones, just a little damage to my car.

Well that day, I didn't make it to class. :-( But the next day, I woke up with a new perspective and a more determined frame of mind. While telling friends my story, I watched while people's jaws dropped. They couldn't believe all of this happened in one day. Neither could I. I was even more surprised that I handled it as well as I did without over-reacting and mentally jumping off the ledge. But one friend in particular said something that really stood out to me.

"When you are on the right path and doing well, there will be evil forces that come in to try to steer you off course. They don't want you to get to where you are going. They come to try and trick you into thinking that you aren't where you need to be and to influence you to give up."

DON'T GIVE UP!! The path on the road less traveled is always more narrow. So I say to those evil forces..."That's all you got?"
Haha...I'm built for this.

When life hands you lemons....

make lemon drop martinis and sell them!!! :-)