Hi guys,
I often get a lot of feedback on my blogs. And I got some responses that I want to re-post. They were sent from two males: one who is not a musician and in a relationship and one who is a musician and married.
Feel free to comment or email me at PSAcomments@gmail.com...
RESPONSE 1:
I admit...
I can’t comment on what it’s like to be in a relationship with a musician…but I can comment on what it’s like to be in a relationship with an active person period.
I’ve learned that it takes a VERY special person who is willing to give up A LOT to be involved with a person who is very active. Generally, I am the type of person who places the things that I enjoy in life ahead of anything else b/c they are what makes me, me. So anyone involved with me either has to take it or leave it at the door…..
So while you are saying that NON-MUSICIANS are the ones giving their MUSICIAN significant other the ULTIMATE ULTIMATUM…that is not REALLY the ULTIMATE ULTIMATUM….the TRUE ULTIMATE ULTIMATUM is YOU as the MUSICIAN giving the NON-MUSICIAN the ULTIMATUM to put up with your late nights, hectic and last minute schedules to live your dream. That is the ULTIMATE ULTIMATUM…and ask me how I know so….because the person who is with me understands that my extracurricular activities are vital to the essence of me, and in order for me to be me so that I can be the person that they love I have to stay involved…
Anonymous
RESPONSE 2:
I for one know how hard it is for your mate to understand why artists love their craft so much. When I moved to Atlanta, I was fresh out of college with a newborn little girl and I was beginning my retail management career. I knew I loved producing/writing, but I also knew I needed a backup plan if it didn't work so I enrolled in grad school. I spent very little time with my family because the routine was work, studio sessions, and school. I soon realized that being active doesn't mix well with family, so I backed out of music and school.
Now that I'm married, I realized that I just can't leave music alone. I feel like Pookie, "it just keeps calling me," LOL. So, I sat my wife down to explain to her that I can't leave music alone whether I am successful with it or not. She fully supports me as long as I don't neglect the family. So I say, it takes a strong person to deal with an active person, and it takes an even stronger active person to maintain a healthy relationship.
Anonymous
Feel free to comment or email me at PSAcomments@gmail.com
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Ultimate Ultimatum
I'm married to music.
I say it all the time. As a matter of fact, I hear it all the time too. Musicians sit and talk about how hard it is to balance a relationship and chase a music career at the same time.
If you are putting the amount of time and energy you need to put into getting where you want to be, it's almost impossible unless your significant other is either extremely understanding or they are in the music business too. The main complaints are: I never get to see you, we don't spend enough time together, you are always at the studio, you always have a gig, why can't you stay home tonight?, you come home too late, I think you are cheating on me, you put your music before me.
And the truth is most musicians do and always will put music before anything else in his or her life. I can’t speak for all of them, but for the most part, this is pretty much true. I don't think it's an intentional thing...and I am speaking for myself when I say this. I honestly cannot help it. My career is my focus. It is number one in my life behind God and my family. Everything else falls in line after it. I will drop any and everything if it pertains to anything dealing with the advancement of my career.
I've had relationships fall apart because I wasn't willing to sacrifice the time away from my music to make it work. So instead of dragging them along and promising them that I would change, I just ended it. I knew I wasn't going to change. No need to lie or string anybody along. I wasn't cheating. Music is just my first love. And it always will be. I've yet to learn how to balance a blossoming relationship and still maintain a strong focus on my career. For some reason I can't do both.
I've had some of my musician friends talk about failed relationships with me and I've had similar situations myself. A lot of non-musicians who are in relationships with musicians expect to be put first in the relationship. A couple of friends have even had their significant others give them ultimatums. NOT GOOD!
To any non-musician dating or in a relationship with a musician: Please try not to give your loved one an ultimatum. If you know that music is his or her passion, why would you want to take that away? Why would you ask them to give up something that makes them happy? You will never be able to fill that void. My suggestion is to try to work with them: Try to understand. I know it's hard. And unless you are in the music business grinding it out every day and night you probably won’t be able to fathom the obsession. Most don't get what the big deal is...and probably never will. But I will say this... if you give an ultimatum and you ask your significant other to choose between you or the music, 9 times out of 10 you will be disappointed. And if he or she does choose you, resentment will set in, and the relationship will eventually fail. Now there are exceptions to this rule. But for the most part, this is a general rule of thumb...just my opinion.
But today's lesson is: NO ULTIMATUM!
I think the saying goes: “When you love someone, you’d give up anything for them. If they loved you back they’d never ask you to!”
I say it all the time. As a matter of fact, I hear it all the time too. Musicians sit and talk about how hard it is to balance a relationship and chase a music career at the same time.
If you are putting the amount of time and energy you need to put into getting where you want to be, it's almost impossible unless your significant other is either extremely understanding or they are in the music business too. The main complaints are: I never get to see you, we don't spend enough time together, you are always at the studio, you always have a gig, why can't you stay home tonight?, you come home too late, I think you are cheating on me, you put your music before me.
And the truth is most musicians do and always will put music before anything else in his or her life. I can’t speak for all of them, but for the most part, this is pretty much true. I don't think it's an intentional thing...and I am speaking for myself when I say this. I honestly cannot help it. My career is my focus. It is number one in my life behind God and my family. Everything else falls in line after it. I will drop any and everything if it pertains to anything dealing with the advancement of my career.
I've had relationships fall apart because I wasn't willing to sacrifice the time away from my music to make it work. So instead of dragging them along and promising them that I would change, I just ended it. I knew I wasn't going to change. No need to lie or string anybody along. I wasn't cheating. Music is just my first love. And it always will be. I've yet to learn how to balance a blossoming relationship and still maintain a strong focus on my career. For some reason I can't do both.
I've had some of my musician friends talk about failed relationships with me and I've had similar situations myself. A lot of non-musicians who are in relationships with musicians expect to be put first in the relationship. A couple of friends have even had their significant others give them ultimatums. NOT GOOD!
To any non-musician dating or in a relationship with a musician: Please try not to give your loved one an ultimatum. If you know that music is his or her passion, why would you want to take that away? Why would you ask them to give up something that makes them happy? You will never be able to fill that void. My suggestion is to try to work with them: Try to understand. I know it's hard. And unless you are in the music business grinding it out every day and night you probably won’t be able to fathom the obsession. Most don't get what the big deal is...and probably never will. But I will say this... if you give an ultimatum and you ask your significant other to choose between you or the music, 9 times out of 10 you will be disappointed. And if he or she does choose you, resentment will set in, and the relationship will eventually fail. Now there are exceptions to this rule. But for the most part, this is a general rule of thumb...just my opinion.
But today's lesson is: NO ULTIMATUM!
I think the saying goes: “When you love someone, you’d give up anything for them. If they loved you back they’d never ask you to!”
Friday, February 5, 2010
When Life hands you lemons...
Hey guys,
Long time...I miss you all. But this has been the most hectic month ever and we're only five days into it.
Firstly, I'm now enrolled in school at the University of the District of Columbia pursing a degree in Music with a concentration in Voice Performance and a Minor in keyboard. Secondly, I'm still working on P.S.A.. The project is coming along well. And I am really excited about the turn it's taking...I think we have some really good material and I can't wait for you to hear it. I've been so busy, I can hardly think straight.
On the surface, it may look like I have it all together but trust me, you guys have no idea what I've been through the last couple of weeks. DC has had the most snow days this winter since I've been here and the day it started to snow again my precious car was towed. For what? Yep...you guessed it...unpaid parking tickets. So I don't pay my parking tickets...who does?...shoot me! :-) They decided to take the car on the weekend when all of the offices were closed. I couldn't really get upset...I knew this was coming. I just didn't know when and this was all my fault. I just had to stay calm and wait until the following Monday to get the car. :-(
So Monday morning, I wake up bright and early to go get my baby out of the impound. I kept calling but for some reason I couldn't get a cab. It took me 4 hours to finally realize that no one was coming so I walked down the block to catch the bus. When I finally got to the DMV, paid the tickets, and retrieved my car, I was relieved. It literally took all day. But the day went a little more smoothly than I had planned so I had no complaints. I was just glad to have my car back.
I'm driving along highway 295 singing along to Drake and Timberland's "Say Something" on the 93.9fm radio station when I hear this big pop and all of a sudden my car starts to pull towards the right...almost like my alignment was off or something. So I pulled over and discovered that I had a flat tire. In my mind I'm thinking...I'm going to miss my class. I immediately call roadside assistance and guess what happened next? My cell phone was dead. By then, I began to panic. I was stuck on the side of the road with a spare and no jack and a cell with a dead battery. And just when I started to give up, this random guy pulled up beside me. Thank God he had a cell charger and he allowed me to borrow it so that I could complete my roadside assistance call.
And as he pulled off I listened to the roadside assistant representative tell me that she was having trouble contacting a driver in my area. I WAS STUCK. By now I'm thinking, I'm never going to make it to class. She told me she would keep trying and right as I got off the phone with her, a DC truck pulled behind me with these big flashing headlights. As I looked in my rearview mirror...I felt like I saw the lights of God. LOL! I was so relieved. The guy changed my tired for me and I was off to class. The day had been saved and all was well again. Until...
I get about a block away from my place and as I'm slowing down to make a turn, I all of a sudden hear tires screeching and I hear this loud crash. I feel this big force that jerked my car forward. At first I'm a bit delusional...In my mind I am thinking somebody had a wreck. Then seconds later, I realize that somebody was me. So as I'm getting out of the car this lady walks up to me and asks me if I'm okay. I tell her yes. When my mind finally comes back to planet earth...I see that I was involved in a three car accident and I was hit from behind. I was fine, Thank God. Everybody involved was fine. No broken bones, just a little damage to my car.
Well that day, I didn't make it to class. :-( But the next day, I woke up with a new perspective and a more determined frame of mind. While telling friends my story, I watched while people's jaws dropped. They couldn't believe all of this happened in one day. Neither could I. I was even more surprised that I handled it as well as I did without over-reacting and mentally jumping off the ledge. But one friend in particular said something that really stood out to me.
"When you are on the right path and doing well, there will be evil forces that come in to try to steer you off course. They don't want you to get to where you are going. They come to try and trick you into thinking that you aren't where you need to be and to influence you to give up."
DON'T GIVE UP!! The path on the road less traveled is always more narrow. So I say to those evil forces..."That's all you got?"
Haha...I'm built for this.
When life hands you lemons....
make lemon drop martinis and sell them!!! :-)
Long time...I miss you all. But this has been the most hectic month ever and we're only five days into it.
Firstly, I'm now enrolled in school at the University of the District of Columbia pursing a degree in Music with a concentration in Voice Performance and a Minor in keyboard. Secondly, I'm still working on P.S.A.. The project is coming along well. And I am really excited about the turn it's taking...I think we have some really good material and I can't wait for you to hear it. I've been so busy, I can hardly think straight.
On the surface, it may look like I have it all together but trust me, you guys have no idea what I've been through the last couple of weeks. DC has had the most snow days this winter since I've been here and the day it started to snow again my precious car was towed. For what? Yep...you guessed it...unpaid parking tickets. So I don't pay my parking tickets...who does?...shoot me! :-) They decided to take the car on the weekend when all of the offices were closed. I couldn't really get upset...I knew this was coming. I just didn't know when and this was all my fault. I just had to stay calm and wait until the following Monday to get the car. :-(
So Monday morning, I wake up bright and early to go get my baby out of the impound. I kept calling but for some reason I couldn't get a cab. It took me 4 hours to finally realize that no one was coming so I walked down the block to catch the bus. When I finally got to the DMV, paid the tickets, and retrieved my car, I was relieved. It literally took all day. But the day went a little more smoothly than I had planned so I had no complaints. I was just glad to have my car back.
I'm driving along highway 295 singing along to Drake and Timberland's "Say Something" on the 93.9fm radio station when I hear this big pop and all of a sudden my car starts to pull towards the right...almost like my alignment was off or something. So I pulled over and discovered that I had a flat tire. In my mind I'm thinking...I'm going to miss my class. I immediately call roadside assistance and guess what happened next? My cell phone was dead. By then, I began to panic. I was stuck on the side of the road with a spare and no jack and a cell with a dead battery. And just when I started to give up, this random guy pulled up beside me. Thank God he had a cell charger and he allowed me to borrow it so that I could complete my roadside assistance call.
And as he pulled off I listened to the roadside assistant representative tell me that she was having trouble contacting a driver in my area. I WAS STUCK. By now I'm thinking, I'm never going to make it to class. She told me she would keep trying and right as I got off the phone with her, a DC truck pulled behind me with these big flashing headlights. As I looked in my rearview mirror...I felt like I saw the lights of God. LOL! I was so relieved. The guy changed my tired for me and I was off to class. The day had been saved and all was well again. Until...
I get about a block away from my place and as I'm slowing down to make a turn, I all of a sudden hear tires screeching and I hear this loud crash. I feel this big force that jerked my car forward. At first I'm a bit delusional...In my mind I am thinking somebody had a wreck. Then seconds later, I realize that somebody was me. So as I'm getting out of the car this lady walks up to me and asks me if I'm okay. I tell her yes. When my mind finally comes back to planet earth...I see that I was involved in a three car accident and I was hit from behind. I was fine, Thank God. Everybody involved was fine. No broken bones, just a little damage to my car.
Well that day, I didn't make it to class. :-( But the next day, I woke up with a new perspective and a more determined frame of mind. While telling friends my story, I watched while people's jaws dropped. They couldn't believe all of this happened in one day. Neither could I. I was even more surprised that I handled it as well as I did without over-reacting and mentally jumping off the ledge. But one friend in particular said something that really stood out to me.
"When you are on the right path and doing well, there will be evil forces that come in to try to steer you off course. They don't want you to get to where you are going. They come to try and trick you into thinking that you aren't where you need to be and to influence you to give up."
DON'T GIVE UP!! The path on the road less traveled is always more narrow. So I say to those evil forces..."That's all you got?"
Haha...I'm built for this.
When life hands you lemons....
make lemon drop martinis and sell them!!! :-)
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Press Play
They call them "hot-heads," "firecrackers," "trigger-happy." They go from 0 to 60 in less than .05 seconds. If you make these kind of people angry...most know its a wrap! The bad news...they more than likely will always cause a scene if someone tries to push their buttons. The good news....no one hardly ever bothers to push their buttons because they don't want to cause a scene.
But what about the quiet ones...the calm ones..the cool ones...the ones that remain a mystery? The ones that the Average Joe can rarely ever figure out or understand. People will always want to test their patience. Why?...because they are calm. People wanna know what makes them tick, what rubs them the wrong way. Why...human nature I guess??? Who knows. There is always a struggle for control. And you can't control what you don't know or understand.
If you think I'm lying...just take a few days to examine your friends. Which one is the hot-head and which one is the cool one? Watch to see how people respond to each...and see if what I'm saying doesn't hold true. People will more than likely try to come at the person who is known to be the calm and cool one when there is a misunderstanding or disagreement. They will think twice before they even begin to bother the "hothead." Why?? I have no earthly idea? Well I do, but I don't wanna go there in this post.
Everybody wants to be the man. But everybody is not. These people who are not "the man" but want to be so badly are who I like the call....THE BUTTON PUSHERS!! The sole purpose for their existence is to push your buttons. They make it their business to piss you off. Your reactions to their button pushing is dependent upon how important they feel about themselves. If you don't react to them, it enrages them and they try to find more buttons to push and most of the time will not stop until they get some sort of response. When you do react, it gives them a sense of relief and a sense of satisfaction. Sad but true.
You ever heard the saying, "emotions will have you broke." It's so very true.
Sometimes you gotta suck it up and bite the bullet. If you don't...you will be the one with a thousand great songs that on one ever hears because you don't know how to control your temper. It takes many sacrifices to make it in this business. I MEAN A LOT OF THEM! You gotta know when the light is green and when it's red. Blowing up at every little thing is not a good look or a smart move.
And here's the worst part of it. Sometimes to test you, people will purposely push your buttons to see how you will react. They wanna know how you are going to respond when you are pissed off. Will you be able to keep your head? Can you express yourself and your difference of opinions without crossing the line? You've got to keep your cool. No matter how angry you get... you might not wanna blow a fuse when you aren't the one holding all the cards. A move like that could have you out in the cold and broke. And know that, the more calm you are, the more they will try to test your patience. Your task is to hold it together. Say what you have to say, but just be careful how you say it because the main ones trying to test you aren't the ones who hold the cards either. They are more than likely the ones who want to be "the man." You don't want to let a "button-pusher" cost you an opportunity. But you don't want to continue to be disrespected either. There is fine line. If you execute correctly, your point will be made loud and clear and you will still be able to continue on your path to success.
The object of this music game for some is to see how many they can take out or how many will take themselves out. Don't give major attention to minor people or things. Concentrate on what's important and keep your eye on the finish line. You don't wanna let anything insignificant and petty ruin your potential opportunity because at the end of the day..if you think about it...it's really not that serious. HANG IN THERE!! If you get mad and take yourself out of the game...then what is the purpose? All your talent goes to waste. They will be moving on with their lives making money while you are on the sideline still mad about something that doesn't affect them either way. Sad but true. It makes YOU look like the fool...a broke fool! :-/
Moral of the story....keep your focus. And don't let people push your buttons. Know when to agree, agree to disagree, and disagree without being disagreeable. It's important to know how to separate the personal from the business. And know when it's business it's never personal.
Stay Focused! Which one would you rather be.....
HIM
OR HIM
But what about the quiet ones...the calm ones..the cool ones...the ones that remain a mystery? The ones that the Average Joe can rarely ever figure out or understand. People will always want to test their patience. Why?...because they are calm. People wanna know what makes them tick, what rubs them the wrong way. Why...human nature I guess??? Who knows. There is always a struggle for control. And you can't control what you don't know or understand.
If you think I'm lying...just take a few days to examine your friends. Which one is the hot-head and which one is the cool one? Watch to see how people respond to each...and see if what I'm saying doesn't hold true. People will more than likely try to come at the person who is known to be the calm and cool one when there is a misunderstanding or disagreement. They will think twice before they even begin to bother the "hothead." Why?? I have no earthly idea? Well I do, but I don't wanna go there in this post.
Everybody wants to be the man. But everybody is not. These people who are not "the man" but want to be so badly are who I like the call....THE BUTTON PUSHERS!! The sole purpose for their existence is to push your buttons. They make it their business to piss you off. Your reactions to their button pushing is dependent upon how important they feel about themselves. If you don't react to them, it enrages them and they try to find more buttons to push and most of the time will not stop until they get some sort of response. When you do react, it gives them a sense of relief and a sense of satisfaction. Sad but true.
You ever heard the saying, "emotions will have you broke." It's so very true.
Sometimes you gotta suck it up and bite the bullet. If you don't...you will be the one with a thousand great songs that on one ever hears because you don't know how to control your temper. It takes many sacrifices to make it in this business. I MEAN A LOT OF THEM! You gotta know when the light is green and when it's red. Blowing up at every little thing is not a good look or a smart move.
And here's the worst part of it. Sometimes to test you, people will purposely push your buttons to see how you will react. They wanna know how you are going to respond when you are pissed off. Will you be able to keep your head? Can you express yourself and your difference of opinions without crossing the line? You've got to keep your cool. No matter how angry you get... you might not wanna blow a fuse when you aren't the one holding all the cards. A move like that could have you out in the cold and broke. And know that, the more calm you are, the more they will try to test your patience. Your task is to hold it together. Say what you have to say, but just be careful how you say it because the main ones trying to test you aren't the ones who hold the cards either. They are more than likely the ones who want to be "the man." You don't want to let a "button-pusher" cost you an opportunity. But you don't want to continue to be disrespected either. There is fine line. If you execute correctly, your point will be made loud and clear and you will still be able to continue on your path to success.
The object of this music game for some is to see how many they can take out or how many will take themselves out. Don't give major attention to minor people or things. Concentrate on what's important and keep your eye on the finish line. You don't wanna let anything insignificant and petty ruin your potential opportunity because at the end of the day..if you think about it...it's really not that serious. HANG IN THERE!! If you get mad and take yourself out of the game...then what is the purpose? All your talent goes to waste. They will be moving on with their lives making money while you are on the sideline still mad about something that doesn't affect them either way. Sad but true. It makes YOU look like the fool...a broke fool! :-/
Moral of the story....keep your focus. And don't let people push your buttons. Know when to agree, agree to disagree, and disagree without being disagreeable. It's important to know how to separate the personal from the business. And know when it's business it's never personal.
Stay Focused! Which one would you rather be.....
HIM
OR HIM
Monday, January 11, 2010
♪♫ ♪♫Live your life....Aye...aye...aye!♪♫ ♪♫
"Mind your own business!!!"
One of the most commonly used phrases of all time. We all use the term so loosely. Why is the phrase used so much? Is it because people really don't mind their own businesses?
Hmmmmmmm????? Let's play the question game real quick...a couple of hypotheticals to get you thinking...
If you saw your friend cheating…would you interject or not? What about if you saw your friend physically abusing his/her significant other, then would it be okay to interject or not?
Who would you confront...the friend or the person you saw your friend cheating with? Supposed the other person knew your friend was involved or married and simply did not care? Then what? Or what if that person did not know your friend was involved? Then who is to blame? Supposed your friend got angry with you because he/she claimed you weren't minding your own business?
And let's say, after all the dust settled, your friend still decided to cheat, only with someone else. Then what was it all for...were your actions in vain? Where you right or wrong to intervene? Was it really any of your business?
And what about a woman in the abusive relationship?
What if you tried to rescue her? What if she didn't want to be rescued? What if your friend claimed you weren't minding your own business and you got into a physical altercation with him and SHE got angry with you instead of him? Supposed she called the police...ON YOU? Suppose YOU went to jail? And let's just say your friend decided to cut you off over this. And what if after all that, she still went back to him. Again I ask, what was it all for...were your efforts to save a battered woman in vain?
Either way , was it really any of your business? This is where we leave Black and White and enter the Grey area. Where do we draw the line? What one man may see as fulfilling his civic duty the other may see as "Hating." So which one is it? Who is right and who is wrong...
It's simple...there is no right and no wrong. There are so many variables. It all depends on each particular person and situation.
And that is just it...You have to go off of what you feel and what you believe. I am the one who doesn't believe in interjecting unless asked...If I see something someone else is doing I try to keep my mouth closed and I let the universe work its magic. Even when asked...my response is usually, "No, your situation has nothing to do with me!" Unless I am directly involved and it does not pose a threat to my career or my sanity, there's no need. I could care less. But I can't tell those who do the opposite that they are wrong. Acceptance is ideal here. You have to accept the fact that the next man may care about something that you could care less about. I think they are stupid. But then again who am I to judge? They may think the same about me...which is even more stupid...but I digress! Anyway...
In the music business, it is absolutely imperative that you mind your own. It is dog eat dog...and every new opportunity has the potential to blossom or blow up in your face. This is a game of chess, you must make your moves carefully and only intervene when necessary or as it relates to yourself. No one really has the time to butt into someone else's business, they are too busy trying to fix their own. If you have the time...then there is obviously a lack of focus on your own career. You are in charge of your own destiny.
When have you ever heard any rumors of Beyonce going out of her way to hate on or diss another singer or anyone who steps to Jay-z for that matter....it's rare...think about it. She never even bothers to fight back. She disappears when need be and is always focused on her next move, not the people who insist on interjecting in her life. When people hate on her, she fights through her music, by succeeding. There is a reason why she is on top. And the ones who took the focus off of their own careers to try and intervene in her life are where?.....ummm right MY POINT EXACTLY!
That is why we have free will and the power to choose. You are a slave to your own choices. You choose your battles. Hopefully you choose wisely because, in the end, it could cost you! If it works to your advantage…then great! But if it doesn’t, you can only blame yourself. Can we just say...THE DOMINO EFFECT!? You'll come out with scars and bullet wounds that weren't meant for you but for the person whose business you were trying to mind. And you can only be mad at yourself. You will look up one day and find the person you were so worried about 10 steps ahead of you. And you will wonder when and how they got there. It's simple...they were minding their own business when you thought they were so worried about you. And you’ll find yourself wondering was it worth it…then you’ll be asking yourself…why didn’t I just mind my own business??!!
One of the most commonly used phrases of all time. We all use the term so loosely. Why is the phrase used so much? Is it because people really don't mind their own businesses?
Hmmmmmmm????? Let's play the question game real quick...a couple of hypotheticals to get you thinking...
If you saw your friend cheating…would you interject or not? What about if you saw your friend physically abusing his/her significant other, then would it be okay to interject or not?
Who would you confront...the friend or the person you saw your friend cheating with? Supposed the other person knew your friend was involved or married and simply did not care? Then what? Or what if that person did not know your friend was involved? Then who is to blame? Supposed your friend got angry with you because he/she claimed you weren't minding your own business?
And let's say, after all the dust settled, your friend still decided to cheat, only with someone else. Then what was it all for...were your actions in vain? Where you right or wrong to intervene? Was it really any of your business?
And what about a woman in the abusive relationship?
What if you tried to rescue her? What if she didn't want to be rescued? What if your friend claimed you weren't minding your own business and you got into a physical altercation with him and SHE got angry with you instead of him? Supposed she called the police...ON YOU? Suppose YOU went to jail? And let's just say your friend decided to cut you off over this. And what if after all that, she still went back to him. Again I ask, what was it all for...were your efforts to save a battered woman in vain?
Either way , was it really any of your business? This is where we leave Black and White and enter the Grey area. Where do we draw the line? What one man may see as fulfilling his civic duty the other may see as "Hating." So which one is it? Who is right and who is wrong...
It's simple...there is no right and no wrong. There are so many variables. It all depends on each particular person and situation.
And that is just it...You have to go off of what you feel and what you believe. I am the one who doesn't believe in interjecting unless asked...If I see something someone else is doing I try to keep my mouth closed and I let the universe work its magic. Even when asked...my response is usually, "No, your situation has nothing to do with me!" Unless I am directly involved and it does not pose a threat to my career or my sanity, there's no need. I could care less. But I can't tell those who do the opposite that they are wrong. Acceptance is ideal here. You have to accept the fact that the next man may care about something that you could care less about. I think they are stupid. But then again who am I to judge? They may think the same about me...which is even more stupid...but I digress! Anyway...
In the music business, it is absolutely imperative that you mind your own. It is dog eat dog...and every new opportunity has the potential to blossom or blow up in your face. This is a game of chess, you must make your moves carefully and only intervene when necessary or as it relates to yourself. No one really has the time to butt into someone else's business, they are too busy trying to fix their own. If you have the time...then there is obviously a lack of focus on your own career. You are in charge of your own destiny.
When have you ever heard any rumors of Beyonce going out of her way to hate on or diss another singer or anyone who steps to Jay-z for that matter....it's rare...think about it. She never even bothers to fight back. She disappears when need be and is always focused on her next move, not the people who insist on interjecting in her life. When people hate on her, she fights through her music, by succeeding. There is a reason why she is on top. And the ones who took the focus off of their own careers to try and intervene in her life are where?.....ummm right MY POINT EXACTLY!
That is why we have free will and the power to choose. You are a slave to your own choices. You choose your battles. Hopefully you choose wisely because, in the end, it could cost you! If it works to your advantage…then great! But if it doesn’t, you can only blame yourself. Can we just say...THE DOMINO EFFECT!? You'll come out with scars and bullet wounds that weren't meant for you but for the person whose business you were trying to mind. And you can only be mad at yourself. You will look up one day and find the person you were so worried about 10 steps ahead of you. And you will wonder when and how they got there. It's simple...they were minding their own business when you thought they were so worried about you. And you’ll find yourself wondering was it worth it…then you’ll be asking yourself…why didn’t I just mind my own business??!!
Monday, January 4, 2010
This is how we do it
(Singing) It's so cold in the D..........C!
It's freezing but I'm still doing it...Working hard...back at it! The holidays are gone and everybody is getting back into routine of things...including myself! I decided to post a little something so that you guys could see how we get down in the studio...in the flesh...RAW....mistakes...bad notes and all...
Until next time...Peace
It's freezing but I'm still doing it...Working hard...back at it! The holidays are gone and everybody is getting back into routine of things...including myself! I decided to post a little something so that you guys could see how we get down in the studio...in the flesh...RAW....mistakes...bad notes and all...
Until next time...Peace
Saturday, January 2, 2010
PAID IN FULL
A new year, a new day, and a new everything so we all say! But it's easier said than done. We all make promises to ourselves that we rarely ever keep. And for what? I want to start the year off on a positive note so I wont rant and rave too much in this post. But the purpose today is to get us all to reflect. Well you don't have to, but I will.
Think about everything you went through this past year. What were you worrying about January 1, 2009? Did everything eventually work itself out? Was there even a need to worry? Whether we knew it or not, what was going to happen was going to happen...Doesn't matter if it was a failure or a triumph or if you worked extra hard or barely lifted a finger. Actually there was no need to worry at all. Everything was already set in stone and if it was a failure know that it was probably for the best to teach you. If it was a triumph know that there is now more required of you.
2010 should be the year we all have more FAITH! With all that has taken place in 2009, if there are those who still don't believe then I feel sorry for them. GOD is in charge and he is REAL! All we have to do is follow his lead. Everything is already drawn out. He already sent his son to pay the price. That is one promise that will surely be kept. All we have to do is ENDURE the trial! And yes, people will talk about you, yes they will condemn you, call you names, laugh at you, lie on you, hang you on the cross and leave you, betray you, persecute you, deceive you...but at the end of the day....IT'S ALL PAID IN FULL. We just need to endure to the end. ENDURE!!!
I tell myself everyday that if they did it to Jesus Christ they will definitely do it to me...who am I? So this year I will bear my cross and I will carry it down the path that he has set for me regardless of the trials that may come. I will not stop and MY FAITH WILL NOT FALTER! If he brought me to it...he will bring me through it!
Most of us know what we need to do and what we should do we just don't do it. We see the path and think its too hard or impossible. So we run around in circles like the children of Israel lost in the wilderness for 40 years when it doesn't have to be that way. If Jesus did it...so can you! So bear the cross because there is life in the end and your reward will be waiting.
All the resolutions in the world mean nothing if you don't believe. You'd be surprised at what just a little bit of faith can do! :-)
BELIEVE!
Think about everything you went through this past year. What were you worrying about January 1, 2009? Did everything eventually work itself out? Was there even a need to worry? Whether we knew it or not, what was going to happen was going to happen...Doesn't matter if it was a failure or a triumph or if you worked extra hard or barely lifted a finger. Actually there was no need to worry at all. Everything was already set in stone and if it was a failure know that it was probably for the best to teach you. If it was a triumph know that there is now more required of you.
2010 should be the year we all have more FAITH! With all that has taken place in 2009, if there are those who still don't believe then I feel sorry for them. GOD is in charge and he is REAL! All we have to do is follow his lead. Everything is already drawn out. He already sent his son to pay the price. That is one promise that will surely be kept. All we have to do is ENDURE the trial! And yes, people will talk about you, yes they will condemn you, call you names, laugh at you, lie on you, hang you on the cross and leave you, betray you, persecute you, deceive you...but at the end of the day....IT'S ALL PAID IN FULL. We just need to endure to the end. ENDURE!!!
I tell myself everyday that if they did it to Jesus Christ they will definitely do it to me...who am I? So this year I will bear my cross and I will carry it down the path that he has set for me regardless of the trials that may come. I will not stop and MY FAITH WILL NOT FALTER! If he brought me to it...he will bring me through it!
Most of us know what we need to do and what we should do we just don't do it. We see the path and think its too hard or impossible. So we run around in circles like the children of Israel lost in the wilderness for 40 years when it doesn't have to be that way. If Jesus did it...so can you! So bear the cross because there is life in the end and your reward will be waiting.
All the resolutions in the world mean nothing if you don't believe. You'd be surprised at what just a little bit of faith can do! :-)
BELIEVE!
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